100 Word Review: Hell’s Kitchen continues to be a show that boggles my mind. Primarily because the contestants seem so inept that I can’t imagine that Chef Gordon Ramsay would actually hire any of them to work in a McDonald’s - much less his new LA restaurant. Tonight Vanessa, who burned her hand last week (and has been struggling the whole time) quit the show over her injury. Both teams had pizza related challenges and service tonight. Louross and Christina ended up on the chopping block after Ramasy said both teams “won” tonight’s service. Neither were illuminated, however, because Ramasy made Vanessa, tonight’s pick.

100 Word Review: This weekend I had the chance to check out two new cartoons on Nick. One was the abysmal Speed Race The Next Generation, and the other was Amy Poehler’s The Mighty B. The show features the voice talent of Poehler, Kennan Thompson and Andy Richter, and its off to a very nice start. Poehler’s Bessie Higgenbottom, who is voiced very similarly to one of her better SNL characters, is the world’s most ambitious Honeybee Scout. Her determination to win all 4,000 Honeybee badges is the premise to the show, and it looks like they’ll get some mileage out of it.

You can find out more about The Mighty B on their official website.

SpikeTV has ordered 6 episodes of ‘Factory’ a largely improvised comedy revolving around four small-town factory workers “who’d rather do anything than work their boring jobs”.

Sound familiar?

Of course it does. It’s “The Office” in a factory.

This will be the first comedy series ever commissioned by SpikeTV, and it will star Mitch Rouse, co-creator of “Strangers with Candy”.

“Factory is a unique improvised comedy that captures the everyday lives of four regular guys,” said Bill McGoldrick, VP of original programming at Spike. “The humor speaks directly to our viewers, and Mitch’s sensibility is a perfect match for our brand.”

Whenever an executive uses the word “unique” it makes my skin crawl and my head hurt. I’ll be checking out “Factory” and I can’t wait for it to prove me wrong and be something more than the cheap knock-off it looks like.

Last night the WWE arrived in Baltimore, Md and blew the doors off the 1st Mariner Arena with the 10th Annual “Backlash” PPV.

The game of “announce team shuffle” continued as we were introduce to WWE Legend Mick Foley as the new color commentator on the Smackdown brand. The night went quickly, barely using up 3 of the 4 scheduled hours for the event. Here are the results:

Matt Hardy defeated MVP to become the NEW WWE United States Champion

Kane defeated Chavo Guerrero to retain his ECW Championship

Big Show defeated The Great Khali

Shawn Michaels defeated Batista (Chris Jericho played the role of Special Guest Referee)

Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian, Layla, Victoria & Natalya defeated WWE Women’s Champion Mickie James, Maria, Ashley, Michelle McCool, Cherry & Kelly Kelly

The Undertaker defeated Edge to retain the World Heavyweight Championship

Fatal Four Way elimination match for the WWE title: Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. JBL vs. John Cena.

100 Word Review: There are some people that say that this show hasn’t been good in years. I don’t understand those people. The Simpsons, to me, is as good as it has ever been. In this episode Bart ends up in the 4-H club, raises a cow, rescues said cow from slaughter, and ends up forced into a shotgun wedding with one of Cletus’ kids. Is it the greatest episode of the series? Of course not, but it is amusing in places and there are a few great lines. “Sorry, Lise. I can’t be a vegetarian. I love the taste of death.”

40-year old Gary Coleman and his 22-year old bride, Shannon Price, are going to appear on “Divorce Court” on May 1st and 2nd. The couple married in August of last year after meeting on the set of the 2006 comedy “Church Bell”.

The couple will discuss a variety of problems with Judge Lynn Toler, including “ugly” fights, and Gary’s child-like temper tantrums. “If he doesn’t get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does,” Price says,”He like stomps the floor and yells, ‘Meehhhh,’ and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too.”

Price also complains that Coleman has no friends, a statement he clarifies by saying: “I don’t have any friends and don’t have any intention of making any,” he says. “People will stab you in the back, mistreat you, talk about me behind your back, steal from you. And they’re not really your friends. (They’re) only there because you’re a celebrity or because they want to get something from you.”

“Divorce Court” is a syndicated show where couples settle real divorce cases. All decisions made by the judge are legally binding.

100 Word Review: As King of the Hill ages, Hank is starting to do things that are out of character more and more with each episode, and for a long time fan - I really find that disappointing. In this episode we learn that all of Peggy’s birthdays go horribly wrong. This year she’s planned a mystery train trip with a 70s theme. After things start falling apart she and Hank venture off into the bathroom and in a moment of passion ‘do it’. Now, if you can get past the fact that Hank would never do that - then you’ll probably enjoy the episode.

100 Word Review: I haven’t actually sat and watched an animated series and felt completely embarrassed for everyone involved in the show…at least, until now. The idea that one of the biggest summer blockbuster hopefuls of 2008 is being backed up by a cartoon that is this embarrassingly bad is just…sad, really. The series is set at an academy run by a now middle-aged version of Speed Racer’s little brother, and revolves around the sons of Speed Racer. It has a budget of about $12, and looks like someone produced it on a home computer by themselves. Just awful.

Find out more about this terrible, terrible show at Nicktoons.com.

Season 4, Episode 9 - The Shape of Things to Come

If Daniel Craig steps out of the 007 shoes, I think that Michael Emerson would be a fitting successor to the James Bond genre.

“The Shape of Things to Come” was EASILY in the list of my top episodes, primarily because it focused on the single greatest aspect of the show…Benjamin Linus. Between his genuine fear when he heard “Code 14j”, to his desperate play to save Alex and his subsequent mournfulness when she was surprisingly shot, we got our first, I believe, real look into Ben’s soul.

He showed that he was not nearly as helpless as he was making himself out to be to his captors. I loved the moment with the shotgun in the piano bench as well as when he calmly walked into closet and locked the door behind him. Ben always knows exactly what he’s doing, there’s no doubt.

Speaking of knowing what he’s doing, it’s apparent that he has some form of control over Cerebus (a.k.a. Smokie). Ben is obviously ruthless, and is willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish what he wants, but it’s becoming obvious that he’s not pure evil like he seemed to be early on. He obviously cares about the other people on the island, which ties into the next point…

Charles Widmore. There’s your pure evil. He wants the island for his own evil purposes, and Ben is doing what he can to stop that…up to, but not, killing Widmore himself. Is that connected to “the rules” that Ben talked about a few times? I don’t even know where to begin speculating on it. And we’re obviously heading toward an intense finale, with an impending showdown between Ben, Penny, Desmond and Charles. Flippin’ awesome.

Michael Emerson’s performance alone makes this easily my favorite episode of the season, and in my top five for the series. Phenomenal.

A+

100 word review: Jack is getting the top job at GE, and Liz is going to replace him…at least until Don Guice died. ouch. Now it looks like Will Arnett will have more important role on the show going forward, which is a good thing.

All in all, this was another good episode. Much better than Milf Island. The sub-plot with Tracy and the porn-game didn’t do much for me, but there were a few gags in there that were worth a laugh.

This show continues to channel Arrested Development each week…and I mean that in a good way.