In another attempt to rekindle some of the drama of Bones’ third season, Bones father Max is hired as an assistant in the lab. Fans will remember him as an accused bank robber and murderer from last season. He’s a stereotypical good guy and loves teaching kids about science around Jeffersonian museum. Bones is made seriously uncomfortable and wants him fired.

The remains of a former Marine are found in some trees in the protected habitat of a rare bird. It leads to a confrontation with the department of wildlife who are there to protect it. Bones is treading on some pretty lame ground here.

As usual, through some impossible set of circumstances the crew figures out where the victim lives. After searching his apartment they find a passkey which leads Booth to a high end private school. The victim had been more of a bodyguard for one of their students since their defense department father had some threats made against him. After questioning the kids, the trail now leads to a doctor who is an amateur pilot. At the same time, Hodkins discovers that the body had been burned by plane fuel. Now that he has the goods on her, Booth presses the doctor on her relationship to the victim. She suggest that it the Defense department father. Mr King, who had reason to kill the nanny because of some bad stock deals he’s been involved in. It doesn’t make sense, but neither does any particular plot point on this show.

Back at the lab, Bones’ father is charming the staff with his Mr. Science-like ways. He helps in an experiment regarding the bones of the victim. In turn Bones fires him for getting involved. I for one am glad to see the cold and calculating Bones act in such an irrational manner. Its worth seeing her poor flustered acting to give her shallow character some depth. The annoying Sweets, Max and Bones have lunch together and while Bones tries to pretend that firing her father is logical, Sweets sees right through it. Max agrees to leave the Jeffersonian, but pledges to remain an active. We’ll see, not sure how much the “sure I killed a guy, but check out how good with kids I am!” the show can stand.

After some overly complex computer model investigation, the crew believe that the victim was drug after death by someone around Mrs. King’s height. She confesses, but she’s protecting the real killer. The evidence Bones digs up confirms the suspicions and points to one of the King’s children. Alexa, the daughter killed the nanny to keep from being kicked out of the fancy-shmancy school. The mother was trying to cover up for the spoiled rotten little snot.

The final wrap up was a pretty sappy one. While wistful Enya-like music plays, Booth asks Bones to keep her father on at the Jeffersonian as a favor and she accepts. Looks like we’ll have Max back in the picture for a few more episodes. Great.

I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of turkey and corpse references. For a show as over the top as Bones, Not having a turkey episode was almost antithetical the whole goofy premise of the show. I doubt we’ll see any more maturity at Christmas.

First of all, happy Thanksgiving everybody!

If you were able to chill with your extended family around the T.V. set tonight and watch something other than football, as I was, then perhaps you tuned in to watch tonight’s Survivor. If not that’s alright, I’ll let you slide this one time with no grief given it’s a holiday and all. Besides, luckily for you since tonight’s episode was a recap of all the shows biggest moments leading up to the present episode, you didn’t miss much.

Us die-hards, however, were able to not only review all of the drama that’s occurred since eighteen strangers were dropped off  in the very wild Gabon, but also see some never before aired footage of the survivors stabbing backs as well as just having some plain old fun. I don’t know about you, but all of this recapping has got me in the mood for the fresh episodes to come. And, with only seven survivors remaining, the biggest question still remains, just who will become this season’s ultimate survivor?

Currently my money’s on Sugar. But I’ve always been a big fan of the players that are left under the radar of suspicion. Now I’m curious, who do you think will win?

(S02E07) “Tempting Faith”

Maybe it’s the holiday spirit creeping up on me, but I have to admit, that was one excellent episode of Private Practice tonight.

Swingtown’s Grant Show guest starred this evening as Addison’s slutty and snotty brother Archer, the character we hate to love. Not only does he shake things up on the west coast by convincing Kevin that he’s not up to snuff when it comes to dating a Montgomery Forbes, but he also shags Naomi, causing her to be the first one to make a bold move in the precarious Sam and Naomi break-up.

The other plot line that I believe was carried out quite nicely was that involving Violet’s court mandated pedophile client. Though the man had never actually committed the crime, his dirty thoughts left his presence in the practice after-hours as a much disputed event.

Dell was up in arms, having been physically abused as a child and now the father of a young girl constantly in harms way. In fact, the instant physical reaction that Dell had when the pedophile was caught chatting with Sam and Naomi’s daughter alerted him to the fact that it’s high time he fights to keep his daughter safe by gaining custody. I really can’t wait for that story line to reveal itself further going forward.

If there’s one thing that this episode reconfirmed to me with deep anger and disgust, it’s how disgusting I find Charlotte’s character. In fact, her growing interactions with Cooper made me even start to look down upon him as well, that is, until Cooper finally told her what’s up and that they had a major problem between them if he is willing to share his home and life with her when she won’t even admit to her sleazy business acts. Let’s face it Char, you can’t win every fight with WTMI seduction. (Nobody needs to see some of that stuff, I swear I’ll have nightmares tonight.)

So, here’s a round of applause of the writers and producers of Private Practice. It is my highest hopes that you keep this effort up. It’d be a horrible shame if this rise in quality only had to do with sweeps.

TV shows often go out of their way to tie a holiday into their story lines. This weeks’ awful episode of My Own Worst Enemy actually had a super spy with a split personality making a turducken. Its also the perfect time to spring ‘a very special episode’ on everyone. For the record, these episodes are usually a train wreck and have long past their usefulness. House is one show that is ripe for a “special episode.” House is an angry, unloving atheist. It must be hard to resist an episode where House sees a sick child healed and suddenly has a Scrooge-like epiphany. Happily, the cynic in me is appeased this week leaving the sappy togetherness for an episode of ER.

A man desperate for a diagnosis, bursts into the hospital and takes House some patients hostage. The hostage taker is played by Željko Ivanek the fine Slovenian actor who recently played a vampire judge on a few episodes of True Blood. He’s great as the shifty Jason and a good foil for House.

Jason doesn’t trust the injections that House orders up. For good reason too as House tries to trick him into taking a sedative. In anger, Jason fires a round into one of the hostage’s legs.  At the same moment the SWAT team show up headed by the awesome Avon Barksdale from the Wire. house assembles the team, but Chase refuses to play along with Jason and stalks off. Its a great moment for Chase as its exactly the kind of stand that I wanted to see someone take.

Forman’s clinical trial involves some experimental disease drugs and he offers  a place in the trial to Hadley. As usual she’s a narcissistic pain in the ass and refuses to be involved. Now trapped in with the hostages, she volunteers to be Jason’s drug guinea pig. The drugs take their toll on Hadley and House accuses her of having a suicide wish. The injections cause her health to deteriorate bringing into question how much she does want to live. Hadley’s illness has always been a pretty weak plot point. Its just ludicrous that a woman of science would ignore her health problems due to some point of pride. That point finally comes to a head. Hadley is always a pretty annoying (when she isn’t kissing other ladies) but in this case she does show some descent acting.

Now convinced that it could be cancer, the hostages, patient and House all make their way to radiology. House explains that in order to get a proper X-ray, Jason has to give up the gun. He does and House, Hadley and one of the hostages remain. When it turns out that there is no tumor, House is left without a diagnosis. At this moment, House does something that is indicative of the insane genius that he is. He gives Jason the gun back because he too now wants to know what’s wrong with him. Its just fantastic. It sums up all the reasons why I like House.

After yet another injection putting Hadley’s life in danger, House has the breakthrough we’ve been waiting for. Apparently, Jason didn’t realize that Florida would be considered a tropical climate. After another standoff for drugs, Hadley and Jason are left alone. After Hadley finally comes to grips with the fact that she really doesn’t want to die, Jason takes the shot, SWAT blows open the doors and rushes in. Jason seems to be cured and he’ll have some nice years left as he spends them in lockup. Hadley wakes up in Foreman’s care and decides that she does want in on his new drug trial. It should be a sea change in her character, but you can never really tell on this show.

There are several moments of great editing in this episode that deserve to be noticed. TV editing and direction is often overlooked. House has some fantastic editing and I hope they get a shot at an Emmy this year.

Brooke Burke and Derek Hough are this season’s “Dancing with the Stars” champions. Did you really think someone else was going home with that mirrored trophy?

The real surprise was Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson in second place and Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer taking third place.

All season Warren was given credit for his great charm but terrible technical abilities. This is “DANCING with the Stars.” Lance and Lacey deserved better. They pushed the limits, brought new ideas and danced their way to the finals.

Each of the couples performed a dance from a previous week. Warren and Kym earned straight 9’s with their reprise of their hustle to “Funky Town.” Lance and Lacey scored a 28 with their jitterbug to “Jim Dandy to the Rescue.” 

Brooke and Derek scored a perfect 30 with their encore performance of the Viennese waltz. The emotional dance brought tears to many eyes, including Brooke’s husband.

Along with the multiple recaps of the season, many of the stars returned with dances. You can see how much the dancing has improved.

Performances by Alicia Keyes and Miley Cyrus kept the crowd jumping. Jeffery Ross roasted the three finalists.

And of course, Crazy Cloris returned. It was nice to see our old friend.

All in all, it was an enjoyable evening of television.

I considered ignoring this week’s episode of My Own Worst Enemy. The show is officially dead and although I’m sure someone is out there watching this trainwreck it just seemed like a lost cause. It all seemed pointless until I saw the opening scene of this weeks episode. The ridiculously titled “High Crimes and Turducken” kicks off with Henry waking up with a turban on in a middle eastern market.  Seriously? No one even thought for a second in read through that it might look a little ridiculous to have Henry running around a middle eastern market? No? No wonder this ship has sunk.

After stupidly coming to in the above mentioned idiotic scene, Henry turns on his cell phone getting a message from Edward. He tells Henry that he’s working “outside the company”. Then the show uses one of the most boring plot devices in TV history, the words 48 hours earlier flash on the screen

Apparently Edward is on the trail of his parents killer. The implication here is that Janis has some knowledge of why the awesome young football playing Edward’s parents where killed in a phony car crash. Edward has a meeting with a shady Russian spy (how quaint) who offers him the information.

In order to get the info, Edward must steal something called “the Falcon” and deliver it to the Russian. Edward and Raymond are sent in to attempt a theft of the Falcon to test the security of the facility. Raymond gets the wool pulled over his eyes and Edward snags the Falcon.

This brings us back to the opening sequence. After Henry tries to exchange the Falcon, he is nearly caught by Raymond. Henry confesses his fears about Edward’s possible subterfuge to Dr Skinner. Edward wakes up and goes to Dr. Skinner to get some lovin’ and to tell her his master plan to find his parent’s killer. Just in the middle of the lovin’ Henry comes back. this is perhaps the most awesome moment in the entire series. Henry pulling himself off Dr Skinner and recoiling in horror is funnier than any episode of Kath and Kim.

Speaking of lame, Tom and his wife are making turducken and making babies on the floor of Henry’s kitchen when no one is around. Why do we have to see this?

Edward delivers the Falcon and gets a name for the KGB agent who killed his parents. After a sappy flashback to his father, Henry wakes up in the park and discovers that Edward succeeded in handing over the Falcon. Henry decides to turn Edward in, but before he does the boss tells him that the Falcon has been recovered and its been wiped clean. Edward appears to not be a traitor and Henry gives a sappy speech over Thanksgiving dinner.

This is a perfect example of why this series is DOA. The plot was overly complex and opaque, the acting was tired and robotic, and the scene was filled with stereotypes and nonsense. Its sad that this is what’s become of Christian Slater’s career. I just hope he can get cast in a Tarantino movie again someday.

Ladies and Gentlemen…this may be the greatest news I’ve ever heard in my life.

A&E – a network that once stood for “Arts and Entertainment” – has signed none other than Steven “Under Siege” Seagal to star in a new reality series that will follow him in his day job as a Louisiana Sheriff’s deputy.

NO – I am not making any of this up.

The show is going to be called “Steven Segal: Lawman” – it could potentially be the great television show of all time. There is no official word on when the series will launch, but you can bet your sweet ass that we’ll be covering it right here on TV Jab.

TV Squad reports that Fox is dumping its Saturday Morning Cartoon line-up in favor of infomercials. That is an incredibly disheartening thing to hear – especially for this grown-up kid who used to LOVE the Saturday Morning Cartoon line-ups in his younger days (not that I’m old – but you get the idea).

With networks like Nicktoons, Cartoon Network, Boomerang, and all the Disney Channels, kids today have instant access to entertainment target specifically for them. Those of us over 25, however, remember when it was Saturday mornings and Weekday afternoons or nothing.

All things considered, Fox will probably do well with this concept, and it will be an interesting experiment. They’re calling it “Weekend Marketplace”.

Who will take home the mirror ball trophy for Season 7 of “Dancing with the Stars”?

After 9 long weeks of competition, the choice comes down to Brooke Burke, arguably the best dancer, Warren Sapp, allegedly the best entertainer, and Lance Bass, certainly the one who is hitting his stride.

The three finalists danced a combined samba with solos for each couple. Warren does seem to be dancing more and actually moving his feet. Brooke was great as always, and Lance was holding his own.

Each couple then performed a solo, freestyle dance.

Brooke and Derek Hough brought their A-game in their “Grease” inspired dance to “You’re the One That I Want.” With lifts, spins and a costume change, the number was fantastic. Judge Len Goodman (you know, the usually cranky one) actually described it as “the best freestyle dance I have ever seen.”

Their perfect score of 30 for the freestyle dance added to the 28 they scored on the samba put Brooke and Derek in their favorite spot — the top of the leader board.

Lance with partner Lacey Schwimmer decided on hip hop for their freestyle dance to “It’s Tricky.” It had the audience hopping, but without lifts it couldn’t knock Brooke out of first place. Lance and Lacey scored straight 9s. Add that to their samba score of 26, and they were in second place with 53.

Joining Lance and Lacey in a tie for second place, Warren and partner Kym Johnson did an Ike and Tina Turner number to “Proud Mary.” It was a fun dance with a lot of action (including pieces of Kym’s costume flying around the room).

The freestyle dance earned Warren and Kim a 28 from the judges, including a 10 from Len for pure entertainment value. Len wasn’t in that good of a mood when he gave Warren a 7 for the samba earlier in the evening (the couple scored a 25 total).

Tuesday night’s season finale promises another dance from the couples, dancers from throughout the season and a performance by Miley Cyrus.

Plus, that seriously reflective trophy will be going home with one of the finalists.

Talk of a Strike by SAG continues. Yesterday the president of the union, Alan Rosenberg, stated on a morning talk program that the union “had no choice” but to call for the vote so that they had “bullets in their gun” in order to get a deal with the AMPTP because they were refusing to budge.

As expected, the AMPTP has already pulled the economy card, calling SAG “tone-deaf” for even thinking of such a thing in this economic climate.

I’m of the opinion that the Strike is a terrible idea…but I’m more interested in what you think. With that in mind, I present to you…this poll…