Anyone who reads this site probably knows by now that I’m psyched for NBC’s upcoming Knight Rider tv-movie/backdoor pilot. I’m hoping the show is well produced, and entertaining – and I also hope that (if its good), it gets picked up for a 2008-2009 series (depending on when the strike ends).

What you might not know, however, is that this is not the first Knight Rider tv-movie/backdoor pilot. In fact, almost every incarnation of Knight Rider has been brought to television this way. The original series pilot was a 2-hour tv-movie. In the mid-90s there was a basic cable tv-movie for a series called Knight Rider 2010 that had absolutely nothing to do with the original series, but before that, there was an attempt to relaunch the Knight Rider franchise by NBC.

It was called Knight Rider 2000, and in a lot of ways it was similar to the project currently being developed by the network. The pilot introduced a new KITT, although with the original voice, and a new driver for him. While David Hasselhoff was the star of the tv-movie pilot, it clearly set up Shawn McCormick (played by Susan Norman) as the star of what would have been the regular series.

The movie borrowed heavily from Robocop and several other sci-fi films, and really kicked the science fiction element of Knight Rider into high gear…with some really terrible results. In fact, this thing is gawd awful. I remember liking it as a kid, and wondering why it was never picked up as a series, but looking at it now, it’s easy to see why.

Let’s take a closer look…shall we?

We open in the FUTURE! The year 2000! The world has changed drastically since we last saw Michael Knight and KITT roaming the streets of America looking for hot chicks in trouble. Oh yes. At this point in the future criminals in “the city” (as it is called throughout the entire film) are now cryogenically frozen when they are sent to prison, and cops use zapper styled stun guns instead of real hand guns which have been outlawed (so, of course, only the outlaws have them).

Behold! The prison of the future!

Keep in mind this is in the year 2000 – and the movie was made in 1991. They were expecting a helluva lot of change over the next 9 years. As the film opens we see a criminal named Thomas J. Watts (Mitch Pileggi) being released from his cryogenic holding cell. He’s the type of bad guy that really sets the tone for what you’re about to have to sit through. His shiny bald head and bulbous lips let you know…it’s going to be a long boring, slightly laughable, Knight (see what I did there?).

Thomas J. Watts – he’s like Lex Luthor…except that he sucks.

So Tommy here gets out of prison and immediately starts causing problems with the police, including new recruit Shawn McCormick (who I totally forgot to get a screenshot of before sending the DVD back to Netflix)- who is a fresh young pup who has no idea about what is really going on in the city’s filthy underbelly. After Tommy shoots an official at a party, she investigates, uncovering a hand gun…which will ultimately lead her to her new destiny as a bitch.

Meanwhile, Devon Miles (Edward Mulhar) and his new partner Russel Maddock (Carmen Argenziano), attempt to convince the Mayor and the Chief of Police to continue funding their “freelance division” of the police department project, which is built around the Knight 4000 supercar.

The Knight 4000…ugh.

After Devon and crew get shot down by the Mayor and are given 30 days to get the car running or hang it up, Devon does the only thing he can do – he goes after The Hoff for help.

Introducing Michael Knight 2000 – still sporting the chest hair.

Michael apparently retired to fish (um…okay…) and is now kicking it in the style of the future, which is apparently denim. Devon gets him back on board, but with one condition – Michael wants KITT back. Problem is, KITT has been sold off for spare parts, so Michael, who has apparently become a computer expert while fishing, puts him back together and installs KITT in his baby blue 57 Chevy.

Meanwhile, Shawn gets shot in the head after discovering that her fellow cops are involved with Tommy boy over the whole gun thing. Apparently in the future doctor’s can read your brain and see a television like reproduction of your memories. It’s called reading your RNA. They do this several times in the film – and each time its increasingly ridiculous.

So, Shawn gets her RNA read, and her recent memory wiped, then they install a chip in her head for some reason. After she gets better (which takes, at most, 48 hours) she quits the police force and tries to get a job at the Foundation for Law and Government. After having the chip installed in her brain, though, she has become a cocky bitch, much like KITT, and she and Michael don’t hit it off at first.

Anyway, this crap continues on for way too long, and KITT eventually ends up jumping into a lake and short circuiting. Then Devon is killed by the bad guys…causing Michael to quit again…but wait…he comes back, and installs KITT into the body of the Knight 4000 – which upsets Maddock.

Hold on – I have to call Michael on this futuristic cellphone

Maddock eventually comes around and the team is formed. Using the Knight 4000 (and its built in fax machine) they manage to trick the ring-leader of the bad guys (don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for you) into revealing his (or her) self.

In the future (and by future I mean 8 years ago) supercars will have fax machines.

Traveling on both land and sea, the Knight 4000 leads the charge in appending the bad guys, which leads to a show down in a mall where Michael literally ninja kicks Tommy boy, causing him to fall to his death.

Knight Boat…the crime solving boat!

After the dust settles Michael Knight, being the quitter that he is apparently, calls it quits again, and decides to head back to fishing. He tells Shawn that she “knows where to find him”, which would have set The Hoff up for return guest appearances on the show that never happened.

In the final scene we see our new cast of Shawn, Maddox and KITT in a parking lot.

THE END.

Event though this thing both sucked and blew at the same time, it is not without its fans. In fact, in researching the thing I stumbled across a fan fiction series that actually lasted two seasons. Including a novelization of the pilot.

Knight Rider 2000 was not a success, and thankfully is now being erased from Knight Rider canon by the new series. The thing I found the most interesting about watching it as an adult is how awful the car looks. It wasn’t bad in ’91, but now it really doesn’t hold up. It looks bulky and downright weird…where as the original KITT still looks great to this day.

If you want to see Knight Rider 2000 all you have to do is buy Knight Rider: The Complete First Season on DVD. The entire tv-movie is on the last disk in the set as a Bonus Feature.