TV Jab

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“The Goodbye Gossip Girl”

Time to toss your caps and gowns girls and gals, it’s graduation day for our favorite Gossip Girl socialites.

For the first time this season those at the focus of the gossip fight back. After being interrupted right in the middle of their big day the class of 2009 can’t help but have their feelings hurt as cruel labels are handed out to each who matter, cause those with new names to feel abused and those with no names to feel ignored. You really can’t win, can you?

Serena is especially tired of all the drama that’s come her way due to Gossip Girls’ scheming. She launches a witch hunt to find out exactly who is responsible for the brutal blasts. First finding support among her tightest friends; Dan, Chuck, Nate and Blair, she then manages to anger the whole class as Gossip Girl fights back. Promising to not only keep her identity a secret, but to also follow the crew right into college. Heaven help us! I was hoping the buck would stop here.

Those staying behind may receive slightly more peace. Jenny is crowned Queen Bee, already determined to lead a peaceful pack. Even better, true love has found Lily and Poppa Humphrey during their new engagement. Hope their love can make it through another shocking discovery, because I think they’re about to meet the son they once left, found and lost again.

So, will next year bring peaceful bliss to the new couple Chuck and Blair with Georgina ready to show up at her door? Could Dan’s brother end up his roommate or best friend first? Will Serena finally find her Dad? Will this show survive another season? As long as the tweens are alive,  GG will thrive.

XOXO ~Dena

brittney-snow

” Valley Girls” (S02E24)

You’ve got to love a good flash back Gossip Girl style.

Brittany Snow guest starred as a young Lillian who, once expelled from boarding school, runs away from home with mom to crash at her music mogul Dad’s pad. Too bad 80’s star Andrew McCarthy won’t have her. It seems there’s still a little bit of brat stuck in this pack.

Though I can’t remember one present day episode where Lilian’s sister graces us with an appearance, I really can’t wait for that day. She was everything a cool older sister is meant to be and more. First by standing up for what she believes in against a youthful Van derWoodsen, and then again by bailing lil sis Lillian out of jail.

Hmm, bailing someone out of jail, sound familiar? Perhaps that’s what inspired grandma to show up at Serena’s defense when grown-up Lillian had her thrown in a cell to save socialite face. In any case, Serena’s just as determined as her mother was at that age. She doesn’t allow either grandma or mom to come to her rescue. Instead she breaks out for the only important life event of high school still left to complete: Prom.

Proudly crowned prom King and Queen after Chuck stuffed the ballot box, Nate and Blair achieved everything she once dreamed of and more. And then, suddenly, he wasn’t worth much more. Officially offing it with Nate, Blair decided that she was ready for bigger and better things, apparently bigger than staying with her high school boyfriend.  That’s a pretty lame reason if you ask me. I wouldn’t be surprised if Chuck is more the reason then she’d like to let on. We shall see…

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(S02E23) “The Wrath of Con”

Georgina’s back and better than ever. It didn’t take much for this holy roller go remember her roots. With a little designer help from Blair, scamming from Poppi and a whole lot of anger from within, Georgina’s about to do the dirty work for the whole team in order to seek revenge for what was stolen. I guarantee no church camp has ever gone to such lengths to get back collection bin cash.

With Georgina back in action, Gabrielle guilty as sin, and Poppi on the run, you’d think someone else would be behind bars. Poor S, Momma L is only trying to do what’s best. Besides, shame on you for thinking you’d earned those prized family jewels. As the saying goes, like mother like daughter.

Does the same hold true for boys? Are the Humphrey guys destined to be broke and woman-less? Sure, Dan’s got the brains for Yale, but will he ever  have the tuition? With Lillian out of the picture my magic eight ball says “don’t count on it.”

As for all of the drama we’ve continuously seen issued by the Blair, Nate and Chuck love triangle, I couldn’t be more over it. Obviously Blair and Chuck are meant for each other. Misery does love company. Too bad they’re disastrous romantics who will never allow themselves to be happy. Lucky Nate, he gets the leftovers.  Victory, how sweet it is.

SURVIVOR: TOCANTINS

I can’t honestly say that I’m surprised Sierra was voted off of Survivor tonight. The writing’s been on the wall for sometime for this drama stirring contender. I cannot wait until she has her ultimate moment to shine in the last episode. Can you imagine how off she’ll go on the top two? It really wouldn’t matter who they are, she’ll find something to say I’m sure.

For all the grief they gave Sierra for disloyalty, I believe that she’s a lot less sneaky than some players. How the majority of the team sees J.T. as someone they can trust with their life is beyond me. He himself seemed surprised that he was still able to play trustworthiness as his ace card. I guess being a good guy around camp pays off. Too bad being a good girl doesn’t have the same benefits. Debbie’s about to be given the boot. And I highly doubt that her only alliance, Coach, will have any qualms about showing her the door.

Speaking of Coach, you have no idea how disappointed I was when he used his ninja mind tricks to win individual immunity. Then, to add on even more pain, he went on bragging about how awesome it was and why he was just destined to win. Get over yourself warrior. If the players know what’s good for them, they’ll be voting you out next.

As for my prediction as to who will win in the end, well that would definitely be Stephen right now. He’s stepped up his game and he’s becoming more of a leader. He’s the only player with an immunity idol tucked away. Additionally, not one person has made him their enemy. Though I must wonder, who voted him out tonight? And what exactly did that name card say? Hopefully it went along these lines “couldn’t decide, knew you’d be an easy wasted vote.”

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“Southern Gentleman Prefer Blondes” (S02E22)

Poor Rufus, Gabriel sure does know how to hit a man when he’s down. That’s not the only thing he’s learned. He’s also king of the scam, too bad he doesn’t speak upper-east side lingo. A little slip up with Georgina’s hair color as well as a club’s off night could cost him his stolen fortunes.

Never fear though tweens, the sly Chuck and cunning Blair are on the lookout for their next big scandal. Happier to make a boyfriend than keep a girlfriend Blair is putting everything on the line to catch Serena’s thieving boyfriend in the act. Too bad Nate’s not so into the Harriet the Spy act. I bet Georgina could give it a real go though.

For Vanessa and Dan the only thing left to do is gulp away one’s sorrows. Who needs Yale when you have classic drinking games to keep you company? Once Jenny finds out Dad’s been taken for every last dime, she may even take a seat at the bar. After all, this is Gossip Girl. Everyone drinks, sleeps around and cheats to get what they want.

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(S02E21) “Seder Anything”

Could Chuck and Jenny be the next “we never thought it would happen” couple? I sensed a moment in the kitchen. I’m just saying.

Not that Chuck knows a good for him thing when he’s got it. He all but pushed Nate back in Blair’s direction after she royally blew it at rich cousin Trip’s pre-arranged everything wedding. Who knew being a socialite was worth selling your sell to grandpa? Even the old man managed to throw her under the bus. But, ah, there’s always dear sweet Cyrus!

At Blair’s new Daddy’s Seder celebration poor Cyrus got far more than he bargained for, and the quite little guy didn’t even bat a lash. First Blair goes AWOL for the wedding celebration, then Lily and Poppa Humphrey show up unannounced discovering their cater-waiter son serving the upper-eastsiders, oh and then Serena and her husband soon appear. That’s right, Spain is apparently the new Vegas for drunk teens to run off and make big mistakes. Luckily for her, the marriage was probably a joke anyway, unluckily for her, it appears her new “boyfriend” has got something up his sleeve, and my bet is it’s a fat request for the family cash or dirt. Oh he’ll hit cash dirt all right. With this family, he won’t have far to dig.

So what does the future hold for college going boys Nate and Dan? Ivy-league or city-prep? Will uppity Blair ever be able to hack it at artsy NYU? And most importantly could gal pal Poppy be any worse for S than coniving Blair?

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(S02E20) “Remains of the J”

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, right lil J?

In an attempt to not be forgotten, and, let’s face it, to not be out done, Serena throws Jenny a Sweet 16 not to be forgotten. Too bad that when the birthday girl requested chili and family board games, Serena didn’t get the hint that she wasn’t talking about Sorry.

Clearly love is in the air. Not only was it happening on Serena’s bed during Jenny’s all out rager, but cupid also found his way to the icy hearts of Blair and Chuck. Not for each other mind you. Oh no, this couple is switching partners. Nate and B are having another go at it and Vanessa and C are, well, just going at it.

If you ask me, there’s nothing more boring than the same old hormone driven tune sweeping through the upper east side. Now if you were to, say, bring on some more of that lost brother drama Lonely Boy almost stumbled into, well, that’d be music to my ears.

XOXO ~ Dena

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(S02E19) “The Grandfather”

You want the Gossip? I’m the girl.

Carter was easy to dismiss, apparently all one needs to flee the country is a little jet plane and a lot of dirt. But don’t worry, that can’t get Blair down. She’s already as low as she can go.

Arriving at the Archibald reunion to throw all regards of etiquette to the wind, we quickly find out she’s not the only one throwing relationships out the window. Nate joins her in a class- A job at getting rid of old acquaintances in order to embrace destiny. While B’s plans include a rotating door of boys, his are aimed towards whatever puppet-master Grandpa can come up with. I just don’t see V joining that crowd. Too bad, no European summer for her.

Onto other juicy tidbits, were you able to catch a peak at Lillian’s master list? She’s got more names in there than facebook does wannabe celebrities. Poppa H simply can’t keep up. Good thing his hearts got the space, he’s gonna need it for her luggage.

Was that chemistry between S and Dan – again? Will V ever get her own storyline? Could that Bluefly glimpse be a teaser to more fashion forward Jenny episodes? One can only hope to overhear some more juice next week.

(S02E18) “The Age of Dissonance”

As our favorite Upper-East siders put on their senior play, it quickly becomes clear that their true characters are on display, and, let’s face it, they’re anything but innocent.

Gossip Girl’s brat pack has finally returned, and with their reunion the backstabbing begins anew. G.G. appears to be even more naughty than ever as she sends out one e-mail blast after another, buying not only Blair’s chances of going to Yale, but also her friendship with Serena.

Miss Carr, the not-so-blameless teacher from Iowa with a bad reputation also had the guts to show her face again. Of course, Dan couldn’t stay away. Not even daddy dearest could keep him from hooking up with her in a costume closet, that is until the truth came out about who G.G.’s newest source was. It turns out this good boy still hasn’t made peace in hooking up with a bad girl. As retribution, he gladly turns Carr into judge Blair’s waiting hands. It’s hard to call the kettle black though, right B?

As for our more romantically inclined favorites, after being used for his money once again Chuck’s come crawling back to Blair’s bedroom. Unfortunately for him, no body’s home. Luckily for Vanessa, the same isn’t true at the Archibald residence. Though Nate may be more brawn than brain, he still knows how to put on that old money charm.

Can’t wait to learn more about bad boy Carter. Is he man enough for B? Guess we’ll see.

XOXO~Dena

(S02E17) Carrnal Knowledge

Scandalous! No other word could even come close to describing tonight’s Gossip Girl.

Blair’s vendetta after a week (gasp!) of community service causes her to throw a slew of slanderous material towards Ms. Carr, and consequently, Dan. Taking a girls dream of Yale away stinks, but it isn’t sufficient enough to get the brat pack to bare arms. However, take away their phones and you’ve got a whole new ball game. Lesson learned B. Next time however, you may want to throw a little added incentive Nelly’s way.

When Ms. Carr made trouble for the students of Constance, they showed this mid-western teacher she didn’t even know what trouble was. Gossip Girl, of course, was there to fuel the fire. A Blair-created rumor of inappropriate teacher/student relations causes not only the headmistress to be up in arms, but also the  parents (they care- who knew?).

Unfortunately a misinterprated sighting by Serena sealed the deal. With a single snapshot she was able to get the teacher expelled. The action cost her Dan, granted, who didn’t see that coming? First they’re on, then they’re off. I’m so over trying to keep up. Who cares?

Speaking of being off one minute and on the next, our young Humphrey sure knows how to bounce back. He may have lost a teacher and a girlfriend but he gained a bed buddy. Looks like Blair’s a prophet in training. Can’t wait to see what she predicts next.