(S02E15) Gone with the Will

First you have it, and then you don’t. Chuck should be familiar with that notion. One minute he’s got his act together, the next he doesn’t. One minute he’s got a doting girlfriend the next he doesn’t. One minute he’s a millionaire and in control of his father’s industry and the next he doesn’t. So what’s the one key link to all three being taken away? Uncle Jack of course. If we thought Bart had bite, we must have underestimated baby brother Bass. Now the real question is, will he ever get it all back?  Chuck’s certainly a guy who gets what he wants.

Momma van der Woodsen and Poppa Humphrey didn’t even realize the amount of loss and deception they experienced this episode. One minute they’re baby boy searching on the sly, the next they’re cradling up to death’s sad door. But could it be? Did the rich and Gossip Girl famous get served a steaming cup of parental deception? Looks like this lost child is riding more six feet high then six feet deep after all. If there’s anything I’ve learned from GG it’s that secrets never stay that way. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to someday meet the spawn who could turn every one’s world upside down, and almost already has.

Speaking of which, will S and Lonely Boy ever truly recover from the very disclosed knowledge of their joint sib? Of course they will. Money, popularity and an ability to set trends will get you everywhere when it comes to the unusual. Can nobody remember Angelina Jolie’s brotherly kiss just a few years back? Now if her current beloved status doesn’t show the ability to rebound, I don’t know what does.

As for Eric and Jenny, were we ever really worried? Those two adorable kids couldn’t break up even if they wanted too. Too bad he’s gay, they’d be a match made in heaven.

(S02E14) In the Realm of the Basses

Talk about dropping the ball. Here I was expecting some enlightening Gossip Girl news to ring in the new year by, but all I was left with was the same old overdone story lines and ridiculously fake characters. First of all, Blair and Chuck… really? Just when I thought the melodrama couldn’t get any more heightened, we find Bass up on a ledge with only Blair to talk him down. It kills me that this tug of war is still going on between the two. Either you like her or you don’t. Either you want to conform to societies hopeless wishes or you don’t? No matter of liquor guzzling, edge walking or call girl kissing is going to make a difference. When it comes to the writers who cling on to this continuing nonsense, I simply expect more.

Then we turn to my two favorite on again off again stars of the show. Since Serena sent Aaron packing it should come as no surprise that her new boy toy be her old boy toy. Lonely Boy Dan just can’t learn a lesson, can he? The only tiny attempt at breaking up the monotony of their light switch relationship is the knowledge that Momma van Der Woodsen and Poppa Humphrey had a love child together and are now in on the act of bringing him back into the family. In all honesty, after the last episode dropped the baby bomb, this next step in the path to screwing up their home lives should come as no surprise.

The only plot that offered any reprieve from the same old news is Jenny’s entry back into prep life. Forgoing her bad girl ways, Jenny proudly stepped back into prep school while managing to step on the mean girls toes all in the same day. Spending the entire episode seeking justice for their new pathetic victim Nelly, we’re only led to disappointment when it turns out Nelly didn’t want to be saved after all. Well, as they say, you can’t save them all.

On an uplifting note, Blair, love the colony club regalia. You so should consider majoring in theater, the melodrama certainly suits you.

(S02E13) “O Brother, Where Bart Thou?”

As a proud twenty-something I often find myself snubbing all things of the tween genre. Miley Cyrus? Overrated. Jonas Brothers? Please, they’re like glorified Hansens, they too shall pass. Gossip Girl? A little too over the top and far out of any self respecting youngster’s league if you ask me. I mean really, what’s with all that riff raff they’re putting on TV these days? (God I’m old.)

So when I asked my editor if I could review Gossip Girl this season, I  surprised even myself. I pretended that it was for the excellent fashion, that even I can’t ignore. Or perhaps it was all in the intrigue? Maybe it was even because one of the actress who plays Jenny Humphrey was once the star of one of my favorite Christmas movies, The Grinch. Sure, that weak reason was probably why.

In any case, I’ve since teetered between pretending to fit in as a viewer of the show, absolutely tearing the show up and now, tonight, finally cheering it on. So, why you may ask, the sudden turn about?

Apparently I’m a sucker for a feeling so deep it’s hard to believe it’s just “puppy love.” Or maybe it comes down to the way a quick turn from life to death can truly shake up a show and bring out a character’s true colors. I’m not quite sure, but what I do know is that at the end of tonight’s show when Rufus Humphrey walks up to Lillian van der Woodsen  and says, “just tell me, was it a girl or a boy,” I finally felt the shows humanity. In that one meaningful question I felt the damage of one person’s decisions hurting so many around them and finally found myself actually feeling bad for one of the characters instead of pure disgust or evil humor. These spoiled little brats grew fragile hearts right before my eyes. It sounds evil, I know, but at the same time I’m so glad the writers were able to help me reach this point. My only hope is that the sense of humanity they developed stay into coming episode and not fall apart in a NY train station.

(S02E12) “It’s a Wonderful Lie”

Ah, to be young, vengeful and rich.

It should come as no surprise that the Gossip Girl guys and gals have been a little less than nice this holiday season. While I wouldn’t expect coal in their jimmy choo stockings, I wouldn’t be surprised if a non-designer named treat snuck it’s way in there (gasp!).

So exactly what naughty tricks am I alluding too? Well, let’s shine our light on Lil J for a moment, shall we? Hurt and extremely angry Jenny is easily convinced by the Blair wannabe’s that it’s high time Vanessa is served her fat piece of justice pie. Sneaking the unsuspecting new Archibald girl a see through dress just in time for the famed snowflake ball, not just one girl walked away embarrassed. It appears J’s just not cut out to be  so mean. She still has a conscious, and I recommend you hold on tight to what’s left little Humphrey. Luckily for the blushing Vanessa, it’d take more than a dress flop to turn him off of a good thing.

Now let’s see, what else are out upper-eastsiders up to this holiday season. Well, first off Aaron’s Ex, this abrupt yet charming Lexi is in town. Where Serena is sensual and demure, it appears Lexi is a downright Vixon, quickly setting her hooks into none other than lonely boy Dan. An ex for an ex, not bad, not bad at all.

Ironic no? Let’s all pause to appreciate this next bit of irony. With both the maid and the limo on the line Chuck and Blair decided to set each other up. It should come as no surprise that their destined dates turned into mini caricatures of each other. Really, why fight it? So what happens next you might ask. Duh, they fall for each other and leave their alpha twins just about ready to do the same.

Don’t even get me started about the grown-up drama. With Mrs. Van der Woodsen still pining over her childhood crush Poppa Humphrey, and of course all the while Bart Bass using all of his evil means to either get her back or ruin her life, you’d think the adults were as young as the kids. Just think about that for a minute. Teenagers that drink and have sex being raised by adults who seek revenge and gossip like school girls. It’s not surprising these characters are such a mess.

What happens next for the back-stabbing betrayed Jenny and what really happened to Bart Bass? There’s always next week.

XOXO~ Dena

(S02E11) “The Magnificent Archibalds”

If there’s anything tonight’s Gossip Girl has taught me, it’s that I am a sucker for a holiday themed episode. I’m sure I’m not alone. Heck, even the title character’s monologue was full of warmth, sentimentality and even a touch of heart. Who knew GG could be such a sweet sap?

In tonight’s episode she helped to guide us back into the crazy lives of our main characters where children were slipping away from their families, friends weren’t speaking, relationships were just hanging on by a thread, and even thanksgiving dinners seemed doomed from the start. But then, as with all good hectic holiday celebrations, each story line wrapped up nicely over a warm meal surrounded by loved ones and a toast of things to come.

I almost couldn’t believe how perfectly sweet the characters were all being to each other. After weeks of refusing to budge if she didn’t get her way, Jenny reunited with the Humphrey’s. The brattiest chic in New York learned to share when Blair was pulled back into the folds of her family (which now includes two very happy dads). Even Chuck, Vanessa and Nate found themselves being reunited for a greater cause when the FBI came a knocking and convinced Nate it’s time to give the Captain up. If it weren’t for that letter declaring his love to Jenny that Vanessa later found, I almost thought I’d be seeing flames to go along with the sparks set off between those two.

In fact, the only person truly set out in the cold this chilly November night was none other than Mr. Bass, but I have to wonder, will it have any affect on his already icy heart?

I sense revenge coming from a man who’s used to getting what he wants. You can’t have your pie and eat it too (you’re no Blair), so enjoy that stuffing and grab a turkey leg, we’ve got another two weeks before that storyline plays out. Spend it with the ones you love.

XOXO~Dena

(S02E10) “Bonfire of the Vanity”

Someone call the firemen, little J’s future just went up in flames.

After running away from home Jenny went to the only other lifestyle she knows, that of a rebel. Oh how quickly the innocent days pass by. New “angry” Jenny moves in with Agnes in the hopes of starting up her own line. Hmm, two teenage girls move in together in a life with no rules… sounds like a recipe for perfection right? Wrong. Quickly realizing that the immature Agnes was only going to slow her down Jenny takes on the line herself thus ruining a brief friendship/partnership and, more importantly, losing a bed.

As luck would have it her backer still had her back, but not without parental consent. With Daddy and Mommy H shaking their heads know it appears Jenny’s got something else in mind, good ol’ emancipation. Way to pull a Macauly Caulkin J. Does it really have to come to this?

Onto other, less thrilling news, Serena has become Aaron’s muse overnight. Too bad this artist likes his women several at a time. Toying with Serena’s sense of freedom he’s got her in his court for now, but I don’t expect that too late too long. S may not be a stickler for the rules, but she’s also not very good at sharing. Just ask Vanessa.

Birds of a feather flock together. Blair, also not a fan for sharing her prized possessions, attempts to get rid of Mama’s new BF Clyde. For a short little bald guy, Clyde sure does know how to win over a Waldorf woman. Knowing that girls just want to have fun presents Blair with a surprise visit from Cyndi Lauper and all is forgiven. For now at least.

Dan on the other hand, may not win acceptance nor forgiveness so easily. After coming just a stamp away from sealing his fate as the most hated Brooklyn boy out there, he actually managed to do some good. Holding off his New York Magazine article and instead sending in the copy of Chuck’s expose Papa Bass brings father and son close together. Who knew a short story could make such a big impact.

So will this Aaron the artist learn to paint a scene for two? Is Lil J out of both house and home? Can Cyrus pull off the title Mr. Waldorf? Does Dan deserve his five minutes of fame? Only time will tell.

XOXO~Dena

(S02E09) “There Might be Blood”

When I was in elementary school my mom wouldn’t let me watch Saved by the Bell. I’m pretty sure that reruns of 90210 were off the table too. Regardless of how much of a fuss I put up about the importance of watching this show that “everyone” else was watching, mom held firm until I reached an older age. Her reason being? Basically that the show depicted an unrealistic view of what relationships were really about. First Zach’s all over Kelly, and then suddenly he’s all over six other girls before going back to Kelly. If this was what teenagers of the time were doing, mom wanted no part of it. Makes me wonder how mom would feel about Gossip Girl.

Surely today’s elementary and middle school lunch tables are being surrounded by little girls envious of the lives Lil J, Blair and Serena are living. They’re probably also pining over the beautiful boys with names like Dan, Nate and bad boy Chuck. But do they get how distorted this show really is? How damaging it could be if watched by a young impressionable mind still seeking out the truth in life?

Now I know, times have changed. Babies are having babies, teenagers are drinking like the best of any college crew and I’m also sure that blackmail is being flung around like gossip in crowded school hallways. The truth is though, this isn’t something to praise by featuring in our home screens each week as a drama to be watched and enjoyed. These type of plot lines should be seriously examined and used as an example of what not to do these days.

So yea, in tonight’s episode things were kept interesting. Jenny moved away from a very good family life to pursue her dreams (at the age of 15 mind you), Serena had daggers thrown at her but didn’t seem to mind as long as Blair made it through another day with the perception of perfection, and Dan sacrificed Chuck – a living, breathing, feeling individual – in order to make his own dreams come true. And sure, maybe some weak attempt at proving a point that sex should be performed with a individual that you love, not just out of sport, could be perceived amidst the Blair and Emma drama. A noble point, if you can find it among all the other smut.

The problem is, if you want to see anything of value in the twisted dramatic plot lines of Gossip Girl you’d really have to search. And who wants to put that much time into a half an hour show? As for me, I’ll continue watching it with a mature perspective and appreciation for nice clothing. Why will you be tuning in?

XOXO~Dena

(S02E08) “Pret-a-Poor-J”

Spotted, Little J dancing around in her bra with photographer in tow. Someones awfully scandalous tonight.

Gossip Girl is striving for new levels of rumor mill fodder. Tonight’s episode started out with a bang when Jenny quit her designing job after being swayed by a night out on the town with her new BFF the model. Sounds promising, I’m sure.

Then Dan is caught doing a good deed in the form of helping Blair. Since when does anybody besides Serena willfully help Blair? B’s a brat and rather hard to love if you catch my drift. If not, just ask Chuck, he knows all about it.

Too bad for Dan his selflessness didn’t win him any brownie points with Serena. She’s too busy ogling, turning down, and then pathetically going back for Aaron the artist. Childhood romances are short lived, and as even S can tell, forgettable. However, at least this was sign that it’s time to move on from Dan.

Back to Little J and her scandalously clad ways. Nate tracked her down fearing the worse from her semi-creepy photographer and caught her just as she was taking it all off. After rushing her out of the building and back home to Daddy he showed her exactly why he would even care… with a big fat kiss.

Let’s just hope he’s not another frog.

XOXO~ Dena

(S02E07) “Chuck in Real Life”

So remind me again why I bothered watching Gossip Girl tonight? I could have just as easily popped in a packet of microwave popcorn, hopped into my pj’s and settled down for the steamy star-packed Cruel Intentions just as easily. Let’s face it, the plot wouldn’t have changed much.

Boy likes girl. Girl likes the chase. Girl bets boy with girl as prize. Boy falls for the wrong girl.

That pretty much sums up the Blair Bass with Vanessa as victim drama of tonight’s show.

Now… on to something a bit more original.

Lonely Boy’s got a new friend. Poor Nate Archibald has been taken in by the Humphrey’s where they can shower him with love, attention, and well, a running shower. Not a bad deal for a rich boy turned squatter.

The love didn’t flow as easily with the Bass/van der Woodsen clan.  Eric’s gay and that’s A-OK (by me included), but all was not well in Serena’s world. Upon being asked to conduct a press interview all about what a wonderful family and upbringing she’s had, the beans were spilled. Apparently Mrs. van der Woodsen was a better date than a mom. No shocker there. Lucky for us, gourmet dessert and a walk in the not-so-fresh city air can mend broken families. I always knew cake was good for you.

(S02E05) “New Haven Can Wait”

Give me a break. Now I know it’s hey-day was before  Gossip Girl’s fan’s time, but have the writers not seen Saved by the Bell: The College Years? Or even Boy Meets World for that matter? We all know things went down hill when even Feeney showed up to join the cast in college.

Lessons must be learned people, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned over the years it’s that no “teen” cast should make their way into the next step of life together. It sounds nice and all, and I’m sure it’s a clean transition for any producer of a hit show, but realistically, it just doesn’t happen. Besides, there’s better ways around this inevitable transition into adulthood. You could learn to follow the characters separately post-graduation as they attempted to do with Dawson’s Creek in the later seasons. It’s survival of the fittest at it’s best. Only the strong shall survive, right Dawson? Or, my personal favorite thus far, take a cue from One Tree Hill, and have them reunite post college. Not only does it not kill the show, it reinvigorates it!

Alright, so maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here. Nothings set in stone quite yet, or ivy for that matter. These lucky boys and girls still need to get through senior year first. Lucky for Jenny, it looks like she won’t have that problem. Miss Designer’s on the right path to making it big.

As much hype as I put into the major disappointment of packing the whole crew into Yale for a day, if not a future, we left tonight’s show with Blair and Bass’s destination unknown. Coincidental? I’m willing to bet not. Perhaps there will be  a little college love for the kookiest uncouple we know. So what college takes spoiled, conniving rich kids? If not Yale, maybe the other members of the trinity. Princeton or Harvard anyone?

So, can this show continue to make the grade? Just wait and see.

XOXO~ Dena